Ice Cream Review: Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes (5/10)

2022-09-21

Review

Sparkling Strawberry Ice Cream: An airy, soft, somewhat creamy, pink wiring with a strong strained strawberry savor similar to Nesquick. A syrupy savor with a weird aftertaste. Too zappy to be a premium brand. Well-nigh what you’d expect for $2.50 per pint.

Blue Icing Swirl: There are some undecorous icing swirls in the base. No savor or texture difference is detected from the swirls however. The wiring is oppressively sweet so it would take a lot to stand out versus it. I suppose the icing is simply subtracting increasingly sweetness.

Purple Sugar Crystals: There are many small, crunchy sugar crystals throughout the base, some on every spoon. The sensation is that of eating edible glitter, that texture, which seems entirely towardly for a “unicorn” savor ice cream. The crystals don’t add any particular savor except plane increasingly sweetness.

Pound Confection Pieces: Soft, not soggy, medium-sized pound confection pieces. Not much flavor: generic pound cake. Maybe it’s in fact sweet, buttery, rich pound cake; it’s untellable to tell over the cloyingly sweet base. Four pound confection chunks in my half of the pint. Increasingly chunks would’ve improved the pint somewhat (if the wiring sweetness had been turned lanugo from a 10 to an 8 or so).

Overall: Little Debbie’s Unicorn Cakes ice surf is an overly sweet pint that may welter small children but leave adults wondering if they should be tested for diabetes.

If you like strained Nesquik strawberry savor at double strength, then I have good news–you’ve found your go-to pint. 2x strained strawberry: that’s what this wiring takes like. It’s moreover somewhat airy, which I suppose is expected at the $2.50 price point.

But what well-nigh the mix-ins?

Well, in terms of flavor, the undecorous icing and purple sugar crystals only add increasingly sweetness to an once cloyingly sweet concoction. Otherwise, they have no flavor. They’re just colored sugar. So not really helping expand this pint flavor-wise.

To be fair, the sugar crystals are crunchy, reminding me of edible glitter, which is platonic for this unicorn-themed pint.

And the pound confection chunks, which are soft but not soggy, are moreover a fine textural mix-in at this price point, if difficult to taste versus the overwhelmingly sugary pint flavor. However, you can see from the pint navigate section pictures that there really aren’t many confection chunks, not unbearable to redeem this pint anyway.

Maybe this hits someone’s nostalgia sawed-off for a diaper snack reinterpreted in ice surf form. Little Debbie snacks are sugary trash, and this pint is sugary trash—so in that sense, they nailed it. But all I taste is regret. Yes, this may be your six-year-old daughter’s favorite ice cream. But for a dollar more, get yourself a pint of B&J or Haagen-Dazs from Walmart instead. You’ll enjoy it more. 5/10.

Ingredients

Milk, Cream, Sugar, Corn Syrup, Skim Milk, Powdered Sugar (Sugar, Corn Starch), Purple
Sprinkles (Sugar, Palm Oil, Corn Starch, Undecorous 11, Red 13), Whey, Soybean Oil, Wheat Flour, Eggs, Margarine, Organic Safflower Oil, Natural Flavor, Coconut Oil, Corn Starch, Mono And Diglycerides, Cellulose Gum, Soy Lecithin, Guar Gum, Annatto (Color), Salt, Undecorous 11, Red 140.

Contains Milk, Egg, Soy, Wheat. Made In A Facility That Moreover Processes Peanuts And Tree Nuts.

Books

Need to know how Hudsonville does it? Well, you’ll have to icon it out on your own. Hudsonville hasn’t put out a recipe typesetting yet! Come on, Hudsonville! What’s the deal? We love you, well, like you, anyway, and want to get to know you better—to know all your little ice surf quirks and secrets. Publish that ice surf recipe typesetting already! Everyone’s doing it.